Am I in ‘mid life crisis’?
Lately I have been feeling a little off. I know, I know, I am a coach and coaches are always super positive. But I am tired, I am building a business whilst also working, I don’t sleep so I am exhausted, I have days when I can be so up and others when I feel ‘meah’ and cant be bothered! Is it peri-menopause or mid life crisis? I don’t know, all I know is that some of the things that I used to enjoy, I generally no longer look forward to. Take today for example….
As I write, I am in Singapore which is known to be the land of shopping. In Orchard Street alone there are nearly 30 shopping malls all merging into one another, a veritable assault on the senses of sight and sound, and people everywhere. This is not an environment to be in if you are scared of crowds. But years ago, the very thought of a shopping bargain would have thrown me into a complete state of frenzy. Well, Mr T was working and I was at a loose end so decided to treat myself to a day of window shopping. Perhaps stopping off for a coffee somewhere and just generally have a really good mooch around whilst he wasn’t there asking me ‘what do you need that for?’ for the thousandth time. Total shopping bliss!
Only somewhere between getting accosted by a billion shopping bags, tripping up the escalator, wondering around the food court desperately looking for plain noodles, “I just want noodles people!” Searching for the nearest toilets that actually had loo roll, then losing the will to live as I couldn’t find my way out of the shopping mall, each one rolling into the next one. It suddenly struck me why was I here? Why did I do this? Why was I subjecting myself to something that was wasting my day when I wasn’t really enjoying it? When I could be doing something more enjoyable instead?
So I decided to leave immediately (just as soon as I had checked the price of the most gorgeous pair of sparkly shoes I had ever seen) I willed myself to walk away and go back to the hotel. A terrible trait of a coach is that at times like this I always look inwards and try to ‘psychoanalyse’ why I was feeling that way. It hadn’t been the first time, I had become irritated at myself a number of times, questioning what was wrong with me and telling myself to get a grip.
But the answer is that this is all totally normal… Even us coaches are still figuring it out and when we move towards that 40 plus life stage (ok for me its nearly 50!), sometimes our tastes change, we start to question where we are and regret the things that we wanted to achieve but didn’t. Perhaps our careers didn’t take off, we have not ended up where we thought we would be, we’re struggling for direction or relationships have lost their sparkle. This ‘mid life’ can sometimes make us feel like we are loosing our minds and its frustrating, we can snap at those that we love, forget things and faces, and look at others we admire whilst being critical of ourselves. But the upshot is that all of this is totally normal! I am normal, and if this resonates with you then you are too.
When we reach that time of life then we need to recognise that this is ok, that nagging ‘off’ feeling is just the old we are rejecting that no longer fits us. It is a mid life crisis but rather than the cliche that this has become, think of the positive opportunity that it gives. This is a crossroads, but its also an opportunity to rewrite and refocus on things that you love. We are changing and growing wiser, we are starting to really understand the things that we don’t like which means we can actually try out and create new ones. How exciting would that be?
So today I am going to seize the opportunity, no more shopping for me I am going to find new interests, maybe go running in the park or kick boxing (ok maybe not, sounds a tad drastic) or better still spend the day reading, meditating, wearing a face pack and relaxing instead, which is my plan now for tomorrow. But most importantly I am going to be easy on myself, give myself a break and not allow that ‘off’ feeling to get to me.
So my friends, if any of this feels like you, just give yourself a break. Enjoy the fact that you are now older and wiser, celebrate your changing views that have grown from so much life experience, talk to and challenge your inner wisdom, try out new things, find your passions. But above all don’t forget to practice a whole load of self care to ensure you arrive at that post ‘mid life crisis’ fresh faced, sparkling with confidence, rejoicing in your journey and ready to party!!
Ps. Just make sure you regret nothing, buy the shoes! 😉
Lots of love Samantha x
Image by Bryan Schneider on Pexels